The canine beautician

The weather here has been vile. I don't know about anyone else, but I am now thoroughly sick of winter. It fulfilled its purpose when the shooting season ended - it now has no purpose, and needs to begone!

As a result, the field where training classes take place is somewhat soggy. I taught a puppy class today (exciting!) and almost went A.O.T. (that's arse over tip) several times... fortunately I kept my feet, I feel landing on the aforementioned A. would have reduced what little authority I had to begin with.

So, when Henry came out of the car, there was a lot of skidding around behind him until he chilled out. This was the first class we had been to since Christmas, so he was very happy to be back, and very keen to get over to Sophia to say hello!

We were doing just fine until he had to sit for a while - he was so keen to get to the treat in my hand that he leapt up to try and pinch it (naughty naughty). As he landed I felt a splash on my face, and the next handler along did say, 'He got you!', but I thought I'd wiped it all off and was confident that my normal, glamorous (hah!) appearance had been restored.

Until I got into the car to drive home, that is.

Because I caught sight of myself in the rear-view mirror.

Can you imagine a sort of human Dalmatian?

That was me. Covered in lumps and splotches of mud, as though I had just ridden round Aintree in the rain.

I did wonder why people kept grinning at me... I suppose at least I noticed before I went into the supermarket!

Hey ho. Spaniels, eh? Bet I wouldn't have had all this bother with a Lab...

Whoops!

If you're going to teach your dog to sit, then leap up and speed off when you say 'Ready...... steady.......... GO GO GO!'...

And you go dog walking with a friend who has taught their dog something very similar.....

And you end up both doing this trick at the same time....

It's a good idea for one of you to look and make sure the dogs are not facing each other.....

Because if both dogs are spaniels, they will be far too excited to look where they are going when they charge off......

SPLAT!

Bless their little pea brains!

Read a very good book the other day - The Culture Clash by Jean Donaldson. Very interesting look at the way dogs think and learn. Well worth a read!

Shopping

Been shopping for a bridesmaid dress today. Sadly, posh dress shops do not generally welcome smelly spaniels, so as soon as this trip was planned it was clear that Henry was going to have to have a duvet day. Arrangements would have to be made, and Henry would be having a day in with the TV. All that was required was to get past the Spaniel Guilt Trip and out of the door.

So:

Step one: arrange shopping trip. Realise that the venue chosen (Bicester Outlet Village) is a 3 hour drive away. Contact Henry's official biographer (no really, Henry is in Tom's latest book!) to see if he is up for a bit of light dog walking, and receive positive response.

Step two: make special effort to purchase dog's favourite chew bone at supermarket, taking care to select largest one. Ignore woman giving strange look as you weigh one bone in each hand to decide which is the best.

Step three: get up on shopping trip morning, and have bath and select clean and relatively nice clothes instead of putting old clothes on and going for a walk. Try to ignore dog giving disapproving look.

Step four: put on non-dogwalking coat and boots. Suddenly find steps being dogged by dog. Try to explain why he is going to have to stay at home, then realise that a: you are explaining yourself to a dog and b: there is a distinct tone of pleading entering your voice.

Step five: present dog with carefully selected bone. Dog will then bring bone to you and drop it at your feet, then give you a look of disdain at this attempted bribery. Begin explaining self again.

Step six: leave house, attempting to ignore dog's look of complete incredulity that you would do such a thing.

Step seven: spend much of trip switching between wondering whether or not your house is being eaten by vengeful dog, and berating self for allowing life to be run by a creature that rolls in poo for fun.

Apparently, Henry has been on a nine mile walk today. He is not tired, but is having some pretty vivid dreams based on the amount of yipping and twitching going on. The house has not been eaten.

But I am still dress-less...