Shopping

Been shopping for a bridesmaid dress today. Sadly, posh dress shops do not generally welcome smelly spaniels, so as soon as this trip was planned it was clear that Henry was going to have to have a duvet day. Arrangements would have to be made, and Henry would be having a day in with the TV. All that was required was to get past the Spaniel Guilt Trip and out of the door.

So:

Step one: arrange shopping trip. Realise that the venue chosen (Bicester Outlet Village) is a 3 hour drive away. Contact Henry's official biographer (no really, Henry is in Tom's latest book!) to see if he is up for a bit of light dog walking, and receive positive response.

Step two: make special effort to purchase dog's favourite chew bone at supermarket, taking care to select largest one. Ignore woman giving strange look as you weigh one bone in each hand to decide which is the best.

Step three: get up on shopping trip morning, and have bath and select clean and relatively nice clothes instead of putting old clothes on and going for a walk. Try to ignore dog giving disapproving look.

Step four: put on non-dogwalking coat and boots. Suddenly find steps being dogged by dog. Try to explain why he is going to have to stay at home, then realise that a: you are explaining yourself to a dog and b: there is a distinct tone of pleading entering your voice.

Step five: present dog with carefully selected bone. Dog will then bring bone to you and drop it at your feet, then give you a look of disdain at this attempted bribery. Begin explaining self again.

Step six: leave house, attempting to ignore dog's look of complete incredulity that you would do such a thing.

Step seven: spend much of trip switching between wondering whether or not your house is being eaten by vengeful dog, and berating self for allowing life to be run by a creature that rolls in poo for fun.

Apparently, Henry has been on a nine mile walk today. He is not tired, but is having some pretty vivid dreams based on the amount of yipping and twitching going on. The house has not been eaten.

But I am still dress-less...